221B Recs

Title: I Need You To See Me
Author: Mssmithlove
Pairing: Sherlock/John
Length: 12,625 words
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: None
Verse: Sherlock BBC

Author's summary: After going back to war, John is yet again invalided home, this time with a broken ankle and a chunk of his memory missing, unable to recall the last five years he's spent being Sherlock Holmes' partner and husband.

Reccer's comments: Amnesia fic is one of my favorite tropes, and this one hit me right in the feels. So angsty and beautifully written, I felt Sherlock's pain so viscerally. It does have a happy ending, but *god* the journey towards it is so painful. Totally worth it, though.

From the beginning of John's diagnosis, Sherlock is convinced that the situation is hopeless, that John could never fall for him twice. Even when John starts to rejoin Sherlock on cases and expresses his happiness to do so, Sherlock cannot allow himself to hope that *his* John is not irretrievably lost.

And just when Sherlock has come to terms with the possibility that his John Watson is gone forever - then we get a beautiful resolution that both makes sense within the narrative and is emotionally satisfying.




"It's not enough for me," Sherlock wants to scream but it comes out soft and scared. "It- you aren't mine, John. You don't know who you are to me. You falling in love with me was an anomaly the first time. I have no misconceptions about that. I will not set myself up for failure like that."

"Sherlock-"

"In a few weeks," Sherlock cuts him off, "you'll be out of your boot. You'll be entirely healed and able to work and move normally."

John furrows his brow. "I-"

"I'm certain Mycroft can find you a suitable flat."

Even as he says it, it tastes like acid in his mouth. He wants more than anything for John to stay here. To stay with him. To love him. To bloody remember.

But Sherlock knows better.

He knows better than to believe that John could ever fall for him twice.

The first time was a fluke at best.

Sherlock couldn't stomach a second rejection.

Not with John.

Not again.